Bella Thorne has taken to social media to be completely vulnerable to her followers. The former Disney Channel star reflects on being molested at a young age and how it led to her seeking validation in all the wrong places.
The 21-year-old starts off her heartbreaking Instagram post by being completely transparent about her relationships alongside a nude photo of herself.
‘What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men… Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so f****** scary to me. all I want is him. I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it’s ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I’m accepted. Why? Because I can’t accept myself. For some reason in my head I’m just not f****** good enough. Not good enough for him or Her or anyone else. And if it’s not him I just look for the “next” him, or her Why can’t I just look for the next me? Find me and accept me.’
She then goes on to speak about her sexual abuse experiences that started when she was a minor.
‘Was it because I was molested my whole life. Exposed to sex at such a young age it’s all I know how to offer to the world…or is it because I was raised to think I wasn’t good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else.’
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ZZl-0nn90/
Thorne then self-reflects and places the blame solely on herself.
‘But it doesn’t matter what happened to me.. What matters is whats happening to me right now. I can’t blame my childhood, in fact I can’t blame anyone for anything. All I can do is blame me. I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I’m attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me. Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself. But at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to get to your end goal is to work through it. Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don’t have to hurt as much. You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That’s what our emotional world lays on. Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting. Right now I only hurt…but I’m not hurting for other people no I’m only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me.’
She ends the post by saying that she is still figuring herself out and dedicating the poem to ‘mommy and daddy and me and you.’ She also hashtags her new book The Life of A Wannabe Mogul.
The author received praise from celebrities like Demi Lovato, Paris Hilton, and Steve Aoki.
This isn’t the first time Bella has opened up about her tragic experiences, she has vented to social media and wrote a book about her life that has become a bestseller. Her i=upload also comes on the heels of the news that she will be directing a film for a porn site.
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Hopefully, the young woman can help and learn that the horrible things people have done to her is not her fault.
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